But I have to say, in spite of it all, it has been a great, great summer. I have started to think of it as an escape into my real life, and it has been great. I planned a wedding, and more importantly, planned the beginning of my life married to my best friend. I helped teach some great kids at our church's Vacation Bible School. Even my classes weren't that much of a burden because they were fun: A Harry Potter literature class and a sociolinguistics class! They may not appeal to everybody, but this nerd had a great time. Then the Olympics started and who doesn't love the Olympics? It gave me a chance to get back to the good things in my life where subbing all school year constantly reminds me of the struggle I've had trying to start a career as a teacher. I thank God this summer let me escape that for a little bit.
Most of the school districts around here started school again yesterday, but this year I looked at it much differently. Since I graduated from college and became a certified teacher, the start of each new school year was another year I hadn't gotten a full-time job. It's not that schools don't hire teachers in the middle of the year--many of the interviews I've had have been in the middle of a school year, for positions to start immediately-- but it reminded me each year that I wouldn't be rushing in to pre-planning and doing what I had gone to school to do. That's the other reason I haven't written. Toward the end of last school year, I decided to take a step back from the job hunt, complete my Master's and maybe think of other ways in which I could use my abilities. My summer of escapism was an extension of that decision. I'm not giving up--in fact, I would gladly still take a job if I was offered one--but, just like a student, already trying as hard as possible, can't "try harder" to learn something, I can't just "try harder" to push down the wall that's stopping me. Instead, I'm going to back up and get a new perspective on the whole thing. It's been getting me too discouraged and too cynical, and I need to get out of that for a while. I took a break from writing this blog as part of my step back.
The reminder that subbing presents comes in addition to having too many let-downs from interviews like the one Jonnie describes in her last post. I have been to many interviews for many different positions, some of which I have referred to in pervious posts. I have been nervous, relaxed, enthusiastic, even apathetic. I have tried to apply all the interviewing tips I've ever gotten, even switching them up experimentally. Only once have I been offered the job, and then it was a job that I couldn't possibly take because of the location. It would have been temporary anyway. Granted, I think some of this has to do with the fact that most of my interviews have been for positions teaching Spanish, which was my minor, not my major. If any of my potential employers thought this has made me less qualified than other candidates, I understand. Otherwise, I've come to the conclusion that if there's anything I can do in the actual interview to change their minds, I don't know what it is. Hence the step back.
I'm still going to substitute teach this year, partly for the money and partly for the sake of not separating myself completely from the school systems. I will be in a different district this year, though, so I will have more stories to tell in addition to the ones from the past I have yet to share. My change in district might even make for some interesting comparisons I can write about later. I will also be taking an Educational Research class this fall which I'm sure will bring me back from the escape of my summer, but this is the first class in education that I will take while I'm all right with the fact that I am not teaching right now. I will be able to look at the field with a slightly different perspective. I don't know what will come of that new perspective, but I'm okay with whatever it is.
So, if, by chance, you're reading this and you're in the same boat with Jonnie and me, I don't want to encourage you to give up. Don't do that. Chances are, you're the type of person the education system needs but doesn't want right now. I know we all need the money, but if there's any other way you can get it or live without it, don't be afraid to give that a shot while you're waiting. You can easily lose yourself in trying to figure out how to please potential employers, but that's no good to anybody.
When I look at my experience having taken a step back, it looks a little more trivial now. That is comforting in itself, but what is more comforting is that I know things will happen when God wants them to.That's so commonly heard among Christians that it almost sounds cliche, but, you know, that might be because it's one of things we have to remind ourselves of the most.
Thank you for reading,
Kelli.
Jeremiah 29:11
No comments:
Post a Comment